Ever since I can remember, I have wanted to be a mother. My game of choice as a child was House. I was the mom, and my dolls were my babies. When my sister was pregnant with her third child (and actually living in the same town as me for the first time since high school), I got baby fever so bad that I joined mommy forums. I did. I wasn't even married yet. (Hey, I'm just keeping it real.) For years I have wanted so badly to have my own little baby to hold, to wear, and to love. Still, Tommy and I waited, attempting to make the best decisions we knew for our little family. I waited... to be a part of the group of women also known as mothers.
But, now... here we are. Unexpectedly thrilled. The timing couldn't be better for us. I trust in God's plan and truly feel that our little growing baby is a gift from the Lord. I could not feel more at peace about it.
And... finally... I feel like I belong in the clique that I could never get into before. The clique of motherhood.
I hesitate to write this because I know there are women who read my blog who have such strong baby fever, who may be struggling to get pregnant and want nothing more than to become mothers themselves, and still they wait.
But I need to write this down. This amazing thing that happened when I realized we were expecting. Literally, overnight... my mommy nature kicked in. My mindset changed. My priorities changed. My interests changed!
I spend my days taking work breaks to think about birth, diapers and nursery ideas. Tommy and I have constant conversations about baby names, important boundaries we want to teach to our children, and things we want to do when we are a family of three. I have researched midwives and doulas and books to read. I have conversations with moms that I never imagined I would be having this year. I go to websites like The Creative Mama, and ClickinMoms and I feel like I have every right to be there. I'm not just some weirdo who reads mommy stuff before I need to (not anymore, anyway).
I do really finally belong... and it feels so right.
I am so happy.