where to begin

I seriously do not know where to start. I thought about writing an intro to our birth story. Did you know Sunday was born at home and we planned it that way? I wanted to share the reasons behind our decision before I shared our birth story - but I don't know that I'll ever get it written in a politically correct way.

I also thought about sharing the recipe that is keeping me alive. A newborn baby is so great at preventing you from eating. Ever. I wake up anywhere between 5:30 and 7:30am and do not have the opportunity to make and consume any food until about 1-2pm daily. Realizing this could greatly effect my milk production, I had to do something about it. So I googled "breakfast cookie" and found a healthy recipe. With Tommy's excellent babysitting skills, I was able to whip up a batch (and freeze half of it!) while he entertained Sunday. Now I have something in my stomach at the same time Sunday does every morning and we're on track to a healthier lifestyle.

I considered writing about how much I have MISSED blogging. I think it must be the time of year. We are all secluded inside and blogging is a form of social activity that keeps me entertained and sort of brings me company in a weird way. Anyway, I also really want to start documenting Sunday's days here.

Speaking of... I do have some pictures to share of our mornings with Sunday. Soon. So soon.

I've missed you all. I have ideas and plans and I am finally starting to get a bit of extra time to sit down and blog. I'll be back so soon!

adjustments

I am thoroughly enjoying and savoring these early days with my beautiful baby girl. In the moments between feedings, diaper changes, and rocking her to sleep, I find myself racing around the house, doing dishes, brushing my teeth, and making the bed. Anything I can do to make the house and/or myself feel fresh... something I so desperately need in order to prevent going absolute bonkers with all the time I'm spending inside. I have so much I want to do... but life is proving to make my task list difficult right now. I remind myself daily that my only responsibility right now is to feed and take care of Sunday. However... it's hard to hide from the following things:

  1. Prepare for this weekend's wedding
  2. Pack for myself and Sunday to spend the weekend in Fredericksburg
  3. Edit and deliver the images from two weddings
  4. Finish writing Sunday's birth story
  5. Edit and build Sunday's birth slideshow
  6. Write something (anything!) in Sunday's baby book
  7. Take pictures of Sunday
  8. Design and order Christmas cards
  9. Address and mail Christmas cards
  10. Decorate the house for Christmas
  11. Put up a Christmas tree
  12. Finish Christmas shopping

I have to tackle each item one at a time... in 10 minute increments. I am oh so grateful when Tommy is home to help hold the baby, even if it just means I have two hands to type a blog entry that says "I'm still here! I want to get the birth story and pictures online for you all to see... I promise! But I'm still slow and we are still adjusting."

So... I'll be back... and we'll get into the swing of things around here soon. In the meantime, Sunday is hungry again. :)

Our Sunday Baby

Not a moment too soon, not a moment too late. She came in His absolute perfect timing and we could not be more grateful. More pictures and a birth story to come... for now, we are enjoying one another and settling into the life of parenthood.

Sunday Quinn 7lbs, 12oz - 21" born at home on Sunday, Nov 20, 2011

40+ weeks

My due date has come and gone and I'm still cradling this little baby in my womb. I've gone back and forth between feeling like I am losing my mind waiting and having complete peace about it. I have been trying to have control (my nature)... dates are floating in my mind. Nov 20th... both my sister's birthday and her middle girl, Shelby's birthday. Nov 22nd... my mom's birthday. Dec 10th... a wedding to shoot (AND my dad's birthday). All days I would like to be holding the baby in my arms instead of in my womb. :)

Every day that passes I have to continuously talk myself out of caring about WHEN he or she comes. It really is a struggle.

Recently a friend of mine went one and a half weeks past her due date. Which, you know, is tough enough... but this was her second child and her first came at 38 weeks. So in her mind she was almost a month past her expected delivery time. But her baby girl came at the perfect time. She came at about 42 weeks, small, still covered in vernix (a sign of early delivery). Her mama said "She just needed to cook a little longer." So sweet, so true.

Babies know when the time is right. (Side note: Did you know it's actually the baby that tells labor to start?)

So... precious babe still in my womb... I am leaving it up to you. I know, I don't have a choice... but I am truly trusting you and letting you guide this with peace in my heart. I know we are both in God's hands and everything will work out just fine, even if I keep worrying about silly dates.

Snowfall knocking on my door early in the morning

on being emotional about babies

It's no surprise that I have always wanted to be a mother. Baby fever is a strong beast and I suffered from it many times before I actually became pregnant. Ironically enough, though... the morning before I found out I was pregnant (I got a positive test around dinner time that day) I actually said something like this to a friend over lunch: "I wonder if I am infertile or somehow unable to have babies... because my feelings towards having children have definitely changed recently and I am beginning to find contentment in my life with the way things are today. Maybe that's God preparing me for something different?"

How funny... less than 8hrs later I was holding a positive pregnancy test result in my hand. God is so funny. :)

Since that day I have struggled to imagine what life will be like with a baby. Some thoughts that cross my mind are: I won't be able to just hop in the car and run to the grocery store as needed, or I won't be able to roll over and go back to sleep in the morning if I have a headache, or I will have to get up in the middle of the night over and over when I really want to just sleep.

I know... selfish thoughts. I'm human. And I'm keeping it real around here.

I have had a hard time remembering all those little things I used to dwell on during bouts of baby fever. Thoughts of cuddles, smells, and sweet moments LOVING my baby. I know that it comes... I know that a baby makes life so different - and so much better. But I'm not really processing it. I am trying to remember... trying to be excited... trying to stop worrying about how hard it will be in the beginning so that I can remember to cherish every little moment ("they are so fleeting"). But... it is challenging right now.

Some of the blogs I've come across lately have really been encouraging and inspiring. I can feel the love in each mama's words and I am so very excited to have that kind of love in my life as well. As someone once said "Children fill a hole in your heart that you didn't even know was there." I can't wait to experience that. Trying to imagine it is not working... I am eager to really feel it and live it out.

So just in case you are also in need of a few emotionally charge, love-filled reads about children: